I’ve also taken my Aunt’s advice and I started taking Airborne to help with the cold. I’m not sure if it’s helped or not but I do know the nighttime formula has Valerian root in it and I sleep very soundly with it. The vitamin C can’t be bad and all the other goodies too. The best part? My FSA (flexible spending account) covers it so I can get reimbursed on it. “Vitamins” aren’t normally covered so this is a bonus in my mind.

To help with my migraines I am on an anti-seizure medication called Zonisamide (formally Zonegran). I have found that I do have some of the Topamax “Dopamax” effect with this drug and it affect my word usage when talking to people and concentration levels when I’m at school. I think I am going to be stopping the medication soon because I want to come back to normal.

I read a blog called Violent Acres and it’s a journey of a mysterious woman through her life of cynicism and blunt kiss my ass love. So, basically, I love it (and she swears a lot). She just had a post about her returning from the dead oddly enough (interesting how we both chose similar titles…) and she made an enlightening comment:

“I’ve said this before, but humans need pain to appreciate life. People need contrast.”

I’ve kind of had this philosophy before but she plainly states it and it kind of explains why most people I know with chronic illness seem to appreciate life differently. I know that when I get a migraine, that first minute when I feel the pain breaking away is like a new life. It’s a breath of fresh air. Weird, huh?

I can deal with headaches and crap like that but being sick just plain SUCKS.  Nothing is comfortable and even your bed which is like the number one safe zone turns into a stink pit after two days of being sick.  We did the smart thing and changed all the bedding and kept using new cups so not to reinfect ourselves with the same crap we’ve had.  I, against my better judgment, bought the tissues with the antiviral stuff in them to prevent the spread of the junk.  We’ll see if that helps.

I’m hocked up on cold medicine right now.  I’m looking forward to a normal week of weather.  Only nice thing was both nights of school were canceled this week.  I was not caught up at all from my vacation so I am going to use this weekend to get caught up.  We’ll see if that really happens.

This trip also brought up something I hadn’t really expected.  I knew that I would be somewhat disconnected from the world since the Internet connection was really expensive on the ship.  We ended up paying for 100 minutes ($55!!) of time to send quick e-mails, etc but it was still not like “being online.”  What we didn’t expect is the actual feeling of being disconnected from the rest of the world.  We didn’t know what the weather was like back home, what the stocks were doing, any of that.  While we had CNN in the room, we rarely paid any attention to it.  I usually would pull out the iPhone and check the weather – something I couldn’t do without it costing a LOT on the ship.  We got ashore in Florida and it was like I took a hit of smack when my phone turned back on.  Talk about being an addict.

And, as if to add to my habit…  Apple is replacing my squealing laptop with a brand new one.  The part that has been making the high pitched squeal the past 19 months has been very hard to locate and the one they did get after a long backorder was broken.  Apple rocks.

Guess I should also mention the headaches were so-so throughout the trip.  I tried to limit the alcohol consumption after the first night which seemed to limit the amount of Ibuprofen, etc I needed to take.

I’ve been spending my past month going back and forth with my insurance company to get my prescription for Prilosec filled.  It has been an utter nightmare.  I need a proton pump inhibitor (PPI) for my stomach acid problems.  I’ve been on them all; Prevacid, Protonix, Nexium, Prilosec, etc.  Well, Anthem, my newest insurance provider, allowed me to get Omeprazole, the generic for Prilosec.  Overjoyed, I got my doctor to submit a prescription for 2 pills a day because my problem is particularly fun.  Anthem, being the best insurance company around [sarcasm], asked for a Prior Authorization to be completed by the doctor.  This is their way of making sure the doctor really meant to fill out the prescription the way he did.  Insurance companies know better than doctors, remember this fact.

So anyway, I ended up getting the first prescription approved and got my 180 pills for three months.  I went to go refill the prescription and low and behold now the insurance company doesn’t want to fill it.  Long and short, I’ve been told I have to use Protonix which is a brand name medication and much more expensive.  I’m fighting out with them right now for a prior authorization on that too because of the quantity limitations on Protonix.

My good friend Kelli at my doctor’s office has been helping me from their end on this.  She called me today and hooked me up with two months of free samples of Protonix.  Hopefully by then the stupid insurance company grows a brain.  What a mess.

How is someone with mental problems/slowness/etc supposed to manage themselves when dealing with things like this?  I’ve been bounced between my doctor’s office, the mail order pharmacy, and the insurance company a lot with no single point of contact.  It’s frustrating and stupid.  I’m reading more and more about stomach medications like Protonix coming off of covered medication lists on insurance plans which scares me.  Until affordable generics over the counter become available, this is going to suck.  Prilosec OTC would cost me $40/month or more even by going to a discount chain and buying in bulk.  I was getting Prilosec generic for $10/month.  Which one makes more sense to you??

I think I have a condition where I need to be stressed.  I had an entire year off of school and took that time to job hop.  Now that I’m in a stable job I think my body said – LETS STRESS OUT AGAIN!!!  I have always liked school and learning new things.  I had taken a year off after highschool and it made it clear to me that I’m going to be a perpetual student.  My goal is to teach night school once I get my graduate degree.  Then I won’t have to pay to be in school hee hee.

My headaches have been on and off this week.  I had gotten nauseous yesterday for no reason and I believe it was a headache coming on.  Tylenol seemed to help.  As I type this (while in class :O ) I’m feeling a little bit of ice in my left temple.  Nothing too substantial but it feels like someone dragging a cold screwdriver over my skin to say I’m here bitch and ready to stick ya!!  Let’s just hope the drive home goes well.  It took me an hour and fifteen minutes to get to school and I wanted to go hide in the back seat.  I heard that affects your driving though.

We decided to postpone our camping trip for this past weekend until next year.  I am overwhelmed with homework and “work at home” work that this weekend would have been a stretch.  I think I still would have gone but Tazz recognized my brain starting to sizzle so we stayed home.  I still took off a half day on Friday and we went to see a movie and had dinner.  We spent the evening Saturday at my mom’s where I brought Crock-Pot beef stew and we had a campfire in their back yard.  I always enjoy doing that at my parents’ house. 

I’m off to take something for my neck/upper back.  I look like a troll right now hunched over.  Fun.

I wanted to review a little of what’s happened to me in the past two years.  Maybe not so much for your sake, but as a tool for me to reflect.  That sounds sappy but why have a journal if you never reread it, right?

1. Topamax hurt me more than helped me.
2. I finally got out of my deadend job; 4 employers total in the past two years since leaving the hell hole.
3. I got my bachelor’s degree and now I’m going back for my master’s.
4. Coffee is a drug and I’m a pusher.
5. I’ve had raw sewage dumped all over me.
6. Stomach acid sucks big time.
7. Losing weight also sucks big time.
8. I’m more scared about losing my vision than being in pain all day.
9. Verapamil made me fatter.
10. Hawaii is awesome.
11. Podcasts are fun but take a lot of effort to do them.
12. Aging parents frighten me.

I’ve learned and experienced much more past these twelve items.  I never wanted my head pain to define who I was or to change how I interact with the world.  The truth is, I am the headache pain and it’s me.  I’m just glad I have a place to bitch and whine about it!

This is going to be a short post because I’m working on homework.  My current assignment is to create a simple fake cell phone web site and allow for processing of orders for new service.  It’s actually going to be fun .

Until later.

I’ve been on Topamax, Depakote, verapamil, triptans, melatonin, indomethacin, celebrex to name a few. None of them really worked. Is that strange? I’m not willing to stay on any more anti-seizure medications. I was not myself on Topamax and I’ve realized I’m probably better off not screwing with my neurotransmitters if I don’t have to. Ultimately, coming back to Tylenol and ibuprofen has proven more effective than any $50/month medication.

I’m not expecting some new miracle cure that developed in the past year to fix it all for me. I think at least I’d like to get another MRI done for comparison to the two others I’ve had. While I’ve been assured that nothing like a tumor or clot is responsible for the pain, I’d like to stay up on it. Maybe some day I’ll make a mobile made up of brain scans. I think that would be pretty.

I had such problems with headaches the entire time I was there. I don’t know if it was the heat, the weather, or possibly the cats at my Aunt’s house. I took a Claritin equivalent to help with the allergies and it seemed to do it’s job. I probably took 4 or more Tylenol or Ibuprofen every day except Sunday – I just couldn’t kick the headache! We also wiped ourselves out with going different places; but I did have a lot of fun doing that.

I’m going to be posting more pictures of the area on my Flickr account if you’re interested. I got some good shots of an Orb Weaver spider in my Aunt’s side yard among other things. Keep an eye out for that