Pain in the Head

I’ve decided to make some mid-year resolutions.  We always forget about what we’ve promised ourselves to do and I need to reaffirm what my goals are.  I’m also keeping them simple because the more lofty the goals it seems the easier it is to quit trying to reach them.  Incremental movement

• Improve my diet.  This means eating my fruits & vegetables, cooking at home with recipes and fresh ingredients.  Reduce or eliminate sodas (sugared and diet) and eliminate dependence on caffeine.
• Exercise on a regular schedule.  We’ve been walking a couple nights a week but I need to follow this up with some Wii Fit time or general Yoga stretching before work in the morning.
• Get rid of the junk around me.  I need to take all the crap we have packed away in the house and donate it to a resale shop or recycle it if it’s really junk.  Collecting “stuff” I think adds to suck up positive energy.
• Finish school.  I still have two years left of school and I am still on track for graduation.  I don’t expect myself to stop going but it is one of my goals that I need to keep on the radar.

Losing weight and eliminating the dependence on hypertension medications is the higher-level goal for the diet and exercise.  Eliminating the junk will help with finishing projects and keeping myself motivated to improve my surroundings.  School is just one of those things that I think I’ll forever be attending.  I mean that in a manner of even after I get my master’s degree, I want to go back and teach.

Recently my lovely migraines have been affected by the weather conditions.  Either that, or a huge coincidence of having more migraines during odd weather patterns exists.  It’s been hard to manage the pain because it varies in intensity and location that I can’t tell if it’s a migraine, rebound headache, or a standard vanilla headache.  Plus, I’m really tired of taking Ibuprofen since it doesn’t seem to do anything.

Luckily I haven’t had too many incidents at work with the migraines.  It’s hard to manage work flow and a consistent software development schedule when you keep getting distracted from the pain.  It’s been that irritating “I’m here to annoy you but I won’t kill you” pain.  It’s almost like I’d want one big ass headache a week instead of these little headaches.

Senseless rambling is also a sign of irritation, from what I know about myself.  :)

We’re keeping busy on the social calendar this weekend.  Tomorrow night we’re meeting our friend Marie for dinner.  We haven’t seen her in months and I miss talking with her almost every day on IM.  Friday we’re off to my parents’ house for dinner and a bonfire out back.  Saturday it’s our turn to host and Tazz’s family is coming over.  Sunday is my homework day.  Actually, tomorrow my current client is closed so I’m taking the day off for cleaning and homework.  I had the opportunity to come into the office to work on other tasks, but I need the time off.

Storms coming in tonight and I think I’m turning into my mom.  I can tell the barometer from how much my head hurts.  I wonder if mercury will come shooting out my ears when the storm hits?!

Is My Eye Red?

Originally uploaded by Astralbodies

My first try at a comic strip. Thanks MigraineChick for the idea

 I’ve noticed a trend in both family and friends.  The more you are honest about how you are feeling and discussing your ailments, the less people care about them.  It’s almost a paradox - the people you love are supposed to help you through things like pain, sickness, etc.  However, they can be easily overburdened by your chronic syndromes.

My stomach has been pretty wonky since I was 19.  I started taking Pepcid when it first came out on the market and it helped for a while.  It eventually stopped working and I had to make my way up to proton pump inhibitors.  Nexium seems to be “the one” that just works.  Unfortunately, my new employer/insurance doesn’t cover the purple pill.  Protonix just came out with a generic but it’s not the best.  So, the GERD and hiatal hernia have been ruining my life.  Drinking hot tea helps calm it down but ultimately my weight (which is going down) and drinking soda are the primary factors. 

I’m babbling.  My point is, it’s a fine line you have to walk/balance on to keep your family from being numb.  I think we too easily forget we can suck it up for a while, if we’re actively trying to prevent accessing migraine triggers, bad foods for our heads and stomachs, etc.  Part of me says screw off, if you don’t like it then you can kiss my ass.  The other part of me says that it’s hard enough for me going through it and I should use my external help wisely.

Part of the other issue that I’ve discussed before is both the migraines and GERD are internal things.  A little red light doesn’t start blinking on your forehead to confirm you’re ill.  (Although, I think sometimes we see blinking lights as an aura.)  You know people, even your close friends, do think you’re either overreacting or acting in general if you get symptoms frequently.

Do I show the pain, or just mask it with a smile?

The past two weeks have been very violent, weather-wise.  I’m sure most of you have heard about the weather systems pouring through Wisconsin.  Tazz and I were at a waterpark in the Wisconsin Dells area when the first system of the week+ period of tornados and rain came through.  We ended up getting home okay that night but saw many funnel clouds and dodged lots of lightning and rain.  The area is flooded but luckily our house has been spared, for now, and the basement is dry.

The weather systems have been playing hell with my migraines, too.  I’ve been using abortive drugs more than normal and I think it’s been killing my stomach too.  Sigh, woe is me.  I’m not to a point where I even want to consider going back onto antiseizure medications, but if my stomach is getting nailed, I bet my liver isn’t liking it.  My doctor is finally getting me off of beta blockers by decreasing the dose.  I forgot to refill the lower dose and today I’m going through, for a lack of a better term, withdrawal.  My heart rate is usually pretty low, around 60bpm, with the beta blocker and with it being higher I feel weird.  Stupid me for forgetting to get the pills earlier.

In any case, school will be over in a little over a month.  Tazz and I are going to be driving out to Niagara Falls in August and camping in July and September.  I’m hoping the mosquitos aren’t horrible in July!!